How 19 year olds Changed My Life Forever

I haven't blogged in awhile. I just assume give up blogging in general. Part of it is because I have so much anxiety around sharing my thoughts and feelings about my involvement in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. But I was inspired today to share. It literally landed on my door step.

I miss my elders. When I got baptized I didn't really think it was this huge deal. It wasn't this great turning point at the time. At least I didn't realize that it was until I was preparing to enter the temple and one of my elders was in town visiting. We were sitting in church and I just emotionally couldn't hold it together. My heart was so full of so many emotions; joy, relief, fear, anxiety, sadness. You must know though I HATE crying in public. So I was trying really hard to hold it together. I turned to see Elder Blair and just hugged him. I swear I sank into his shoulder and cried. It felt so warm and loving. I feel like I was hugging an angel. It clicked that if it were not for that baptism I wouldn't be receiving the comfort and strength I needed at that moment.

I sit here tonight missing them like family. Like brothers. I hope to always be friends and be in each others lives. I hope that everyone in the world, no matter what their circumstances are, can experience the love, comfort, and joy that the gospel delivers. If you read this boys, I love you to the depths of my soul and always will. See? Missionaries aren't so bad. Give em a wave next time you see them and find out.

Water Family

A little history to help explain this post:

I come from a stereotypical divorced and dysfunctional family. My parents divorced when I was 2 and its been ugly ever since. I got bounced around houses only to be mainly raised by either set of grandparents (not complaining I love/loved them). My Dad, even though I unconditionally love him, has not been around most my life.

Some of you may relate to this...

I have had many fathers, sisters, mothers, grandmothers, grandfathers. In that sense I have been blessed. None of those people were of blood relation. You see when you don't have examples of how to go to school, get a job, or make good choices you tend to look for them outside of your immediate family unit. I have sisters that are incredibly intelligent and beautiful. I learned how to put on make up, do my hair, and all those other girly things from my "sisters". I know its possible to be a real ballerina and a sassy happy housewife from my "sister". You can never learn enough or have enough books or lemons in your water. I learned how to push myself physically by going on bike rides and how to "put my man pants on" after running over a snake with said bike from my "big brother".

The best part of all this was when I recently went with my Dad and step mom to a motocross awards ceremony. I watched my dad mingle with all these hilarious old guys. I asked him how long he had known this one guy in particular. When he responded "35 years" I realized, I was sitting in the midst of his water family. I felt like it brought us closer. We both had rough childhoods so we both found our family.

My aunt told me that when our family isn't there for us or supportive we find our water family. I found mine. I love mine. I always will. I only hope I can be a sister/daughter/granddaughter in return.

It's Mid January and I'm Goin There!

This cotton candy reminds me of a certain blogger friend found via

Valentines day! Thats right. For you coupled folks I'm sure you can't wait. For us single ladies, at least for this one, I kind of dread it. One of my boyfriends of old didn't realize how insane this fake Hallmark holiday really was and tried to make dinner reservations the week of! Poor guy is scarred for life.


As I window shop around my slice of the world I am seeing more and more bikinis and valentines day shwag. My thoughts turn to love for the single girls. Instead of letting some panic creep in that I need to get a date for the day of I decided I just need to surround myself with love and attention for myself and my favorites.

Goals leading up to Valentines day

• Craft a heartfelt garland
• bake something yummy for my favorite people
• Have some beauty time to myself
• Add some flair to my space

What are you feelings on the big V day?

Makes Me Happy: Snow

Necklace: Urban Outfitters

Boots/socks: Hunter Jeans: Old Navy Sweater: Gap  Chambray shirt: Target

It is said that I enjoy snow and toy with living in it because I've never shoveled it. That may be true. But it doesn't make me love the snow any less. My friend and I took a short jaunt to the snow last Saturday. At the first sight I was itching to get out of the car and play!

Snow is magical.