Insta life...an Instagram post

" I'm pretty sure they put saw dust in these things"

So much going on lately! Sacramento's crazy "winter". My rain boots and I need more rain to survive properly! Roller skating rink birthdays. I even speed skated during the "fast skate" and made 8 laps! Fried pickles at a new yummy BBQ spot Lucille's. Lastly my weekly 30 mile bike ride with Jimminy. Pushed through that migraine like a champ I did! Topped off by statistics homework backed by dramatic Russian classical music (which does an amazing job at distracting me with visions of pointe shoes. Definitely dropping in on a class very soon). Very appropriate!

I'm giving up for red velvet woopie pies and Mormon speed dating. You know... tis the life of a sassy single student! Happy weekend all!!

As of Late

School started. For some reason I didn't realize, or was not yet willing to accept, that this is actually my LAST semester at community college!!! But its sunk in and I've never been so relaxed concerning school. I've achieved good grades in math last semester I can do it again. I am honestly nervous about my sign language class but when I truly think about it I LOVE ASL!! I wouldn't be opposed to continue my education and possibly get certified to interpret. Its been raining a ton (which means snow!! yay!!) so I finally got to wear my spiffy green Hunters.
Every Sunday I find myself kind of excited for at least one or two things in the upcoming week. Little victories! Hope you all have a fantastic week as well!

Year round resolutions

I don't believe in new year resolutions. I think people who make them typically set themselves up for failure (not on purpose of course). I agree that we can use the new year to start fresh. I like the idea of starting out with a fresh positive attitude or out look. I haven't made any new year resolutions. I have tacked on a few small baby step goals to ones I have been trying to do for the past year. Number one: get into a healthy habit routine again. Around the time I met Shane I was really doing great working out and eating healthy, at least on the week days. But it all worked well for me. I didn't even have a gym membership. I am all for loving the body we have currently. However, I just know I am happiest when I am a little more fit than I currently am. My healthy eating and work out schedule is a little too sporadic right now. Although I happen to have a roommate that is as interested in eating well and working out as I am. I know what happens when I pair up with people. And it typically isn't the best. I like the company but I get too immeshed with the fact that they need to be doing runs or eating right with me. I need to get back to doing all this completely for myself. What I am most proud of is that I am not scouring the web for "thinspiration" or trying to obtain something unachievable. I have my own little "healthsperation" right here... and its all me!

on a hike

Finishing my first 5K

I'm also never going to cut my hair again. Must. Grow. Long!!!

How about you all out there? Continuing any goals? How do you plan on making this year more productive than the last?

A lots been happening

I'm just going to do a little bit of documenting here. I think I've been avoiding writing because any admittance of this still stings. After just over a year Shane and I decided we'd be better off friends. I am looking to settle down and for what I need in a long term relationship Shane isn't quite prepared for. Maybe in a few years (I swear give him three and he is going to be ready to go!). It was nice that we mutually agreed upon this. We are still amazing friends and honestly I am feeling closer to him with our new situation.

I've agonized about blogging about this because I feel that religion is a very private decision. Honestly, I love blogging and I know myself well enough that this blog isn't going to be centered around religion ever. However part of me feels like I need to blog about my journey. Anyway.... I recently converted to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints...phew! In other words I'm a Mormon. No, I don't think I am going to get the little bloggy button any time soon. I'd love to blog about it more but its late and I'm meeting Shane at the gym at 7am!!! I'm excited and proud and so many things with this decision. That picture up there speaks volumes.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and if I don't blog before new years a happy one of those!!!

polka dot plots and other pit falls

Whoa! I never blog! I wouldn't even call myself a blogger anymore. Complete disgrace! Partially because I don't know what to write. Also because I do and I don't want to write it. I have recently been more inspired to journal. I have a more private journal hidden away on my computer. But I've even slacked off on that. So much has been going on. The main theme of whats been going on is there is a lot of leaving my comfort zone, decision making, and all around scary stuff (not to be confused with bad things though. At least not completely). I feel like the last few posts I made I looked like I was getting back on a blogging role. Apparently not! There is still so much I am not completely willing to share. A couple main things I haven't even shared with people in my immediate family (not pregnant. not married. not breaking up with Shane).

School is getting closer and closer to being over. By over I mean I will be FINALLY done with the horrible community college system! I have 2/3 weeks left of my first half of stats. That means next semester I will FINALLY be in a transferrable math! I can't believe it. The math itself is not even the hard part. The hard part is not consciously or sub-conciously self sabotaging myself! My aunt recently pointed this out to me. At first I got really upset and my face got hot and I wanted to walk out of the restaurant. Thankfully I'm not a jerk and didn't walk out and forced myself to chill out. I accepted the fact that she was right. Isn't it funny how the truest things are usually the most infuriating to hear?! Or the best decisions are the hardest to make. Life is the pits man. Well, after my math I have two classes left and I'm like the wind baby! Its such a scary thing. I briefly allow myself to be excited and then FREAK OUT WITH ANXIETY!!

Going to church a lot. Its a real new thing to me, sorta. This church is at least. I like it. Actually love it the majority of the time. Its the first time I have felt at home. The first time I have felt un-judged. The first time all this stuff makes sense. I like not feeling like if I miss a Sunday or slip up in some minute way I wont go to hell in a hand basket. Its a huge commitment though. I want to make sure I can make it whole heartedly. My newest shtick is watching all the other people for examples of behavior. But you know, I think its all so personal. Everyone is, shockingly, pretty individualistic here. Thats about as much detail I want to go into. Save it for the personal journal. If any of you out there want to know more you can email me individually (cmee76 AT gmail DOT com).

Shane and I are hanging in there. We are still trying to work out how everything for us works. Having a healthy relationship with nothing to go off of and no skills is nearly impossible I'll tell you. I was taught to bail at the first sign of trouble (or red flags as my mom calls them).  Keeping my bitchy bitch in check is always rough. I am no stranger to saying some pretty nasty things. Shane has issues keeping his priorities lined up. Has a problem saying NO to people (which is why he is currently elbow deep, I assume, in nightmareish electric for a friend). We're rearranging some things to see what works better. He still has a lot of growing up to do and I probably have some growing down to do (sometimes I forget...no...never know...no...am incapable of relaxing....always).

Hopefully I will start doing this more consistently. Hope your Halloweens were awesome and you eat too much delicious food for Thanksgiving!!

<3

You can go with this. Or you can go with that.

I'm so torn up with decision making I don't even know what to do with myself. As a result I haven't written at all. Aside from school and my day to day life the only things that are going on is this one decision I need to rest on. The truly crappy part... I have no one to talk to about it. Uh!

Math is GREAT!
Shane and I are taking it day by day and growing.
I am experiencing some serious burn out at work. But chugging along.
Family is as it always is.

I have noticed lately I am not into anything other than whats listed above. I used to craft and do tons of stuff! I don't know whats happened to me. My life is kinda boring. I'm not "into" anything. My Dads got motorcycle racing, Shane has his band hobby and cars and now motorcycling racing too (Canby,CA here we come!). What are you guys into? SERIOUSLY! I NEED feedback. Maybe some ideas will help me get the ball rolling. Do you lurkers/regz out there play sports, craft, and the like. What are you into?

My Girls

Via

Via

As I age ever so gracefully new things seem to pop up grabbing my attention. My first grey hairs being one of them (I know I'm 25 and I have like 3 grey's WTM?!). I am slowly starting to become more in tune with my body and mind. I feel I am gaining important wisdom about being a woman that I would even pass on to younger generations. Something that has been popping up more frequently is the fact that I am lacking girlfriends (ya know? friends that are girls...duh!). When I was younger I didn't have a slew of these. I actually hung out with mostly guys. As a result I feel I missed out on a lot of crucial "girl" stuff. I swear it seems I get seriously down in the dumps because I am lacking that female connection you get from having a best girly girl friend. I have had a few that I was semi close to in the past. This I feel also stems off of me being an only child. I really have always wanted an older sister to show me "the ways" of girldom. You'd think having a hairdresser mom and grandma they'd sort of pick up the slack.

So that being said how do you make girlfriends? There's no OkCupid for friends. Are you supposed to walk up to someone and say, "hey your cool lookin. Wanna hang?" Thats just creepy. Even Shane says to me "maybe you'll meet someone at school?" Yeah, most the people around me are 18 or something. Thats also kinda creepy (no offense youngens). I honestly don't know. What I do know is I am dying to have a girlfriend to get girly with. I miss having a girls lunch. Spending a little extra time in front of the mirror playing with make up (I mean I was a make up artist for 5 years and I hardly ever touch the stuff anymore). I am grateful that I have Shane's sister Stevie from time to time. Its actually really neat. We go about once a month and get a pedicure (in this case mani pedi's. It was HEAVEN!).  What are your experiences? How have you met your friends? Basically I am hoping and praying I am not the only girl who has experienced a girlfriend drought. I don't care if your 16 or 25 a girl still needs to be silly and have a slumber party (no boys allowed of course) complete with green face masks, nail polish, and sappy movies!