Saturday, March 16, 2013

How 19 year olds Changed My Life Forever

I haven't blogged in awhile. I just assume give up blogging in general. Part of it is because I have so much anxiety around sharing my thoughts and feelings about my involvement in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. But I was inspired today to share. It literally landed on my door step.

I miss my elders. When I got baptized I didn't really think it was this huge deal. It wasn't this great turning point at the time. At least I didn't realize that it was until I was preparing to enter the temple and one of my elders was in town visiting. We were sitting in church and I just emotionally couldn't hold it together. My heart was so full of so many emotions; joy, relief, fear, anxiety, sadness. You must know though I HATE crying in public. So I was trying really hard to hold it together. I turned to see Elder Blair and just hugged him. I swear I sank into his shoulder and cried. It felt so warm and loving. I feel like I was hugging an angel. It clicked that if it were not for that baptism I wouldn't be receiving the comfort and strength I needed at that moment.

I sit here tonight missing them like family. Like brothers. I hope to always be friends and be in each others lives. I hope that everyone in the world, no matter what their circumstances are, can experience the love, comfort, and joy that the gospel delivers. If you read this boys, I love you to the depths of my soul and always will. See? Missionaries aren't so bad. Give em a wave next time you see them and find out.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Water Family

A little history to help explain this post:

I come from a stereotypical divorced and dysfunctional family. My parents divorced when I was 2 and its been ugly ever since. I got bounced around houses only to be mainly raised by either set of grandparents (not complaining I love/loved them). My Dad, even though I unconditionally love him, has not been around most my life.

Some of you may relate to this...

I have had many fathers, sisters, mothers, grandmothers, grandfathers. In that sense I have been blessed. None of those people were of blood relation. You see when you don't have examples of how to go to school, get a job, or make good choices you tend to look for them outside of your immediate family unit. I have sisters that are incredibly intelligent and beautiful. I learned how to put on make up, do my hair, and all those other girly things from my "sisters". I know its possible to be a real ballerina and a sassy happy housewife from my "sister". You can never learn enough or have enough books or lemons in your water. I learned how to push myself physically by going on bike rides and how to "put my man pants on" after running over a snake with said bike from my "big brother".
The best part of all this was when I recently went with my Dad and step mom to a motocross awards ceremony. I watched my dad mingle with all these hilarious old guys. I asked him how long he had known this one guy in particular. When he responded "35 years" I realized, I was sitting in the midst of his water family. I felt like it brought us closer. We both had rough childhoods so we both found our family.
My aunt told me that when our family isn't there for us or supportive we find our water family. I found mine. I love mine. I always will. I only hope I can be a sister/daughter/granddaughter in return.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

It's Mid January and I'm Goin There!

This cotton candy reminds me of a certain blogger friend found via

Valentines day! Thats right. For you coupled folks I'm sure you can't wait. For us single ladies, at least for this one, I kind of dread it. One of my boyfriends of old didn't realize how insane this fake Hallmark holiday really was and tried to make dinner reservations the week of! Poor guy is scarred for life.

As I window shop around my slice of the world I am seeing more and more bikinis and valentines day shwag. My thoughts turn to love for the single girls. Instead of letting some panic creep in that I need to get a date for the day of I decided I just need to surround myself with love and attention for myself and my favorites.

Goals leading up to Valentines day

  • Craft a heartfelt garland
  • bake something yummy for my favorite people
  • Have some beauty time to myself
  • Add some flair to my space
What are you feelings on the big V day?

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Makes Me Happy: Snow

Necklace: Urban Outfitters

Boots/socks: Hunter Jeans: Old Navy Sweater: Gap  Chambray shirt: Target

It is said that I enjoy snow and toy with living in it because I've never shoveled it. That may be true. But it doesn't make me love the snow any less. My friend and I took a short jaunt to the snow last Saturday. At the first sight I was itching to get out of the car and play!

Snow is magical.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Merry Christmas and PJs

I will admit it folks, I struggled with the Christmas spirit this season. A lot of it had to do with being stuck in broke student status and not being able to get people gifts like I wanted. The other half is that I really felt uncomfortable, pretty much since black friday, about how consumer driven holidays have become. This fantastic beautiful intelligent chick Alycia at the Crowley Project nailed the Christmas sentiment on the head! The days leading up to the 25th were spent reading scriptures and watching documentaries on the Christmas story.

My family is in the bay area so my mom and I made the seasonal trek west. My mom has also never seen the Oakland LDS temple lights so I made sure we had time to check it out. It being Christmas eve the grounds were bustling. The Oakland temple is especially beautiful at this time of year and is packed with people from all walks of life to marvel. Some of those folks happened to be my best friend Kristen and her family. Small small world it is.

When we got to my Babas I got to open presents! We didn't want to truck a bunch of stuff to my aunts where we have dinner. Somehow I acquired a collection of awesome pj sets which is exactly what I wanted!

Mikey ceremoniously cutting the prime rib

My aunts Gullivars Corn. The best in the land!!

My aunt and uncles Hawaii themed tree. So cute!

Christmas was really great. I got to spend quality time with family and particularly my cousin Mikey and eat some great food! There are some things I'd do different next year. All in all I'm glad its over and we can get on with normal life. I'm just going to try and ignore that valentines day stuff is going up in stores. Sheesh!

Monday, December 24, 2012

An Outfit Post (the first of many)

Has anyone else noticed this return to grunge? Maybe some of you aren't horrified by it. I am not one of those people. I cringe when I open Urban Outfitters catalogue lately. Maybe because back in the 90s I was old enough to remember how awful the fashion was (even worse than the 80s in my opinion).

This past Sunday I decided to embrace it....a little.

Dress: Deseret Industries thrift store $4!!; Tights: Urban Outfitters Gift; Shoes Francesca's 

Collar was a big seller for me. I've been obsessed with collars

Gotta have a hipster beanie!

Hopefully in the future these posts will be better quality. Taking pictures with the camera on self timer hanging from the TV hutch was a feat in itself!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

The Best Day of My Life

Love this chick. 

Its no secret I'm a mormon. If you didn't know now you know...ya know (get it?). If you are interested in my conversion story I'd be happy to share just comment and I can email you. On December 17th 2011 I was baptized. So this last week was my one year mark as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS). To celebrate I made a trip through the temple. I tell you what, when I first joined I didn't understand for the life of me why these people were so into temples. I mean people would make a trip to walk around OUTSIDE! Whuuuuut?! Oh boy do I get it now! Every step of my journey has brought me closer to a heavenly father who I am sure knows me personally. This step was one of them.

Something that helped me understand that better was the people that were around me on my special day. Let me tell you folks (get ready for some bragging) I have the best girlfriends! These girls are the closest thing to sisters I have ever have. Kristen and Tiffany have listened to me complain about boys, clothes, dealt with my stubbornness, and STILL answer my phone calls. Thats true love right there. Their faith and examples have been the biggest inspiration to me ever. Not to mention I have been spoiled with the best bishop, his wife, and presidency in all the land.

 I have trouble letting people in. The things I've experienced over my life have taught me its safer to keep people at a distance. Recently I have been struggling with that. This church and God have brought me to some of the most loving, caring, patient people I have ever met. I've learned that I am not a burden on people because we share in each others burdens and joys. I've learned that those silly kids on bikes with name tags and change your life (not to mention are someones son so don't be so hard on them pleeeeease). It is so worth opening your mind and heart to people.