I have decided.

I Smart-E-Pants Mcgee have decreed:

 I am totally going to reinvent myself.

The more I think about the better it seems.

I made the executive decision to have nothing to do with boys and romance so long I am in school.

Frankly, they are too distracting. Not to mention the majority of boyfriends I have had

are intimidated or something that I am so dedicated to school. 

I suspect they are insecure about themselves.

So I want to do this from the inside out.

I am severely lacking in confidence. I have for a very long time.

As a result of this I pass on things that will bring attention to me (also makes me despise my tattoos).

From here on out I will no longer buy black. Nothing against black. I just have enough of it already.

Most the time I choose something black because I figure the color option will make me stick out.

I worked on this when Aaron and I were together, however I just made it a point to wear colorful things.

I think I will just eliminate black.

I have a theory. If I feel confident, successful, happy all those nifty things it will attract like minded folks.

On top of that I feel it will set the bar for who I'd like around me.

I am going to spend every second of my life enjoying it!

I will no longer internalize negativity.

Such as:

People giving me crap about what I wear

others opinions on my tattoos

People "making fun" of personality traits

(I like being loud and silly damn it!!!!)

Can't

(will not even consider that word!)

Other peoples reactions to:

driving

Walking

running

If someone else gets upset I will just smile at them and let it go.

I am super excited to refine this goal and put it into action.

Something about today made everything click.

I emailed Aaron #2 (I split him into two different Aaron's because the one now is meeean) and I feel like I finally got rid of everything I was holding on to.

Being in this place of nature and around my Dad and his wife is so inspiring!

Seriously I love coming up here!

Oh, and Ceaser Millan, you can apply those rules to children and yourself.

I plan on doing more research on this.