Tuesday, August 23, 2011

A little more real

I haven't been posting on here AT ALL! Its kind of ridiculous. Especially because I have so wanted to write about everything thats going on. Writing for me is so very theraputic. Its helpful to get my thoughts all out of my head so I can see them and work them out. I want to write on here. Part of me is conflicted about this because what I have been going through is something I would consider private. But I love blogging. I feel like the dirty, tough, not to pleasant things in life are so rarely talked about in public. Plus, there are times when I read a blog post that someone else shared that helped me so much with something I may be going through. Case in point Chloe posted a notable one that really touched me.

Things don't always turn out the way you planned them to. You may end up doing something you never EVER could have expected. I found myself sitting in church last Sunday thinking, "I am sitting in this particular church. I can't believe I am here." But its good! Its not easy but when you think about it, who ever said it was going to be? The only person, or being if you will, that knows your lifes plan is God. Its so hard to remember when you are in the middle of a really challenging time that He will never put you in a spot you wont be able to handle and come out of stronger. I've found a home at church but its still such an adjustment period. I was so afraid of judgement and whats most interesting is I never got any judgement from those at church, but from those who are not church members. Part of me wants to talk publicly about my experiences to show that its not all scary. But a larger part of me wants to be Caitlin who happens to go to church not the other way around.

There are two things I clearly remember my Mom telling me as a child. There are a lot of things my parents left out about growing up, but here are two that stuck out. First, don't ever depend on a man. Now I agree with this. Women should not completely rely on their boyfriend, husband whatever. My Mom's mistake is that she didn't ever explain this. So I took her advice literally (what did I expect?! I was a kid). Second, she told me that everything should just work perfectly and everything should click and you shouldn't fight. WOW! Everything about that statement is NOT TRUE! At least from what I have experienced thus far. Shane and I fight. I blow things out of proportion.

I just really want to get back to laying out my thoughts a little more on this blog. I get caught up in trying to make it look pretty and be really happy, but honestly, we all know thats not REAL. So I guess I'd like to try and be a little more real. I love to write. Like I said its really therapeutic for me. Not being concerned about offending someone or saying too much or too little or not being particularly cheery has really stunted my therapy. No longer will I let that happen! Huzzah!!!


  1. caitlin? you are awesome. you really are. i have been such a terrible commenter.. but i want you to know that i adore your blog and love reading what you have to say. it's nice to see what people are going through.. the good and the bad.. so we know that we are not alone in this journey of life. you are awesome and i am excited to get to read some more of your thoughts! you are a great writer :)

  2. AWWW! Thanks so much dude! I am a terrible commenter! I'd have to say that your blog is definitely one of the ones I sit down and read. Pretty pictures are great (and I love the adorable ones of Moses) but I like some substance. Ya know? I have a friend who recently had a baby and is all about telling me "the ugly truth" about it all. I really feel like that needs to be done with life in general and not a lot of bloggers are doing it. I wonder why?

  3. Do it! You have such a way with relating with people that I'm sure others will feel at home just being here. I mean, wasn't that the original blog title anyway? And if people don't want the take the time to read deep thoughts, then away with them!

  4. I know. I want to redo my blog...again. But I have no clue how to do it. I kind of want to change the title back to Home Sweet Home since you said that too. Here here!!!

  5. good for you! I can't wait to read more from you