I can't think of a title to describe how I am feeling right now.
The last week and part of the weekend I felt lower than I have in years.
I really didn't even want to exist anymore I felt so terrible.
Sadly, a lot of it is an ongoing difficulty to calm the waters for long periods of time with ex boyfriend.
We were/are trying to be friends. It's new uncharted waters for me in the first place.
What to do with all the emotions that are lingering and such.
I just as assume let them go.
I feel like I have woken up an entirely new woman!
Sunday: Woke up early, went to farmers market with mom. I love the farmers market. It truly makes you feel like you are a part of something. People are happy at the farmers market. They are talking to you, asking how you are. It's nothing like going to a grocery store. I really feel this was the turning point for me.
Honestly, it started with these:
Some of the most beautiful flowers I have ever seen. I feel like tulips mark a new start. Such as the start of spring. Spring is supposed to be a rebirth (take easter for example). I feel that tulips are officially my favorite flower. Right now they follow me everywhere, big and open in their beautiful array of colors. They remind you to smile. I love them.
Monday (today): Woke up at a decent time. I will not be attending my 7:30am french class at SCC any longer so I can get a little more sleep. Went to ballet, took a pretty basic vocab test.
Because we were just going to take the test the studio was free for the next hour or so. Our professor let us students take it over to practice for our skills test on Wednesday.
There is nothing like getting a chaine turn perfectly right. I did them over and over and it feels like floating! Ballet is so fabulous! It gives me so much confidence in myself. Ballet is really a philosophy for life!
Then I met up with my friend Moody and we hit the mall. The mall was the mall. But Macy's had some adorable things! They got that delicious brand Lush. I can't wait to try out all the good smelly things.
Went to Victoria Secret. They also had some great stuff. Tshirts that felt sooo sooo soooo soft!
Then Bath and Body Works. They just have so many great things! I need to stock up this weekend.
Then we went and got the most delicious froyo at Big Spoon. There is a cupcakery across the way that has fabulous flavors (and is my favorite) but they were closed! I am PMSing pretty hard this month, Moody is preggo and I refuse to take NO for an answer on the topic of cupcakes! So on the hunt we went!
I got Death by Chocolate cake and Moody got this fabulous carmel mousse concoction from Rick's Desert Diner. Sure I feel a little sick. Don't judge!
Later I will hit the gym, of course!
Tomorrow I have my new french class at 8am and poli sci. Then the gym. The bulk of the week should go pretty normal. Friday I am excited to get back to knitting. I hope to start my first cylindrical project. Probably a baby something for moody.