Running V. Me

I've written about this before but I still am super perplexed.

Via We Heart It

Some back story on my relationship with running is this: Exercise and I are ultimate foes. When I was in 8th grade I managed to sneak my way out of PE forever thanks to a doctors note and "messed up cartilage in my knees". I hated doing any kind of activity. However, the only time in my youth spent doing anything to be considered "athletic" was back in the 6th grade! I was well on my way to becoming a jock. I played basketball, volleyball, was on pep squad and was looking into trying out for track! Thats where it all ended.

Via We Heart It

I was a smoker for a lot of years. Almost 3 years ago I got really fed up with having crappy lungs, smelling gross and started to loath the all around act of smoking. So, cold turkey, I gave it up. In previous efforts to kick that habit my main deterrent was the weight gain. In an effort to not let that happen I ran. I remember sort of feeling like a baby bird. Everything was super awkward and scary. I even was chased down by vicious chiwawas! Thinking back on the early days I really enjoyed running. I even ran in Portland on a visit once. It was my first run on an incline! Was. Not. Ready. Someone even purposely tried to hit me with their car (motorists hate runners and bicyclists)!

excuses to not run vary:
- I'm too tired
- Its too hot/cold
- I'll do it tomorrow
- I have shin splints (which was super common when I first started running)
- I hate running
- Its too dark (that happened a lot when we "fell back" for fall)
- I have allergies

Oh the excuses! When I shoot one of these at my friend Jimmy (who has completed 2 marathons and runs 6+ miles a week) he usually tells me to "quit my bitching" and tells me some horrifying story of him puking and continuing running (it may sound mean but it actually motivates me a lot!). Or the time he had pneumonia and he ran anyway coughing junk up from his lungs the entire way (he is going to be one crotchety old man!). I have my first 5k coming up in April and I haven't ran even a mile in 2 almost 3 weeks. I am kinda nervous I wont find the motivation to do it. I am terrified I will wimp out. Let people and myself down. I'm scared I wont be able to run. Before I found out I had pneumonia I had a feeling there was something up with my lungs. I figured it was allergies or something. All of a sudden I was almost totally out of breath from walking up my stairs (even Shane said something then). Half a mile into a run I would be coughing so bad I almost threw up (TMI, whatevs) and would run/walk back home. I felt totally defeated. I am so scared my lungs are going to fail me again. Not to mention my uber supportive family who cares about me (wink) says to me when I mention trying to run " Don't push yourself". I don't know what to do.

Via We Heart It

Once I got past the initial hurdles of smoking; I started to look at my running and gym time differently. I liked to feel strong! Lets just face it, moving your body (in some way) makes you feel good! Chemically it gets those endorphins going which leads to yummy happy dopamine! We all love that. Right now from not running my knees and my hips are killing me! I crack almost every time I move. I feel lazy and gross and WEAK! As a result my self esteem has completely dropped and everyone around me is probably feeling the side effects of that.

Today I am going to do some yoga with Avalon. I am really excited (to hang out with Avalon)! I feel that yoga is a really great slow and steady start to get back to my more regimented tougher work out schedule.