Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I've been known to...

...Write to make myself feel happy when I am down. Writing has been known to make me feel better. I don't feel very well right now. Not because I am physically ill (however, I do feel physically ill as a result), but because I am just down in the dumps, good ol' blue. I unearthed my Granny's 1930s  bed frame out of the garage.  I put it together in the hopes that I would feel her near. The frames of the bed acting almost as her warm welcoming arms giving me a hug once again. The kind of hugs I used to get as a child.
 Connie uses her Granny's bed frame as well. I always loved her's because it sat so high up off the ground. My granny's does too. It almost makes you feel like you are flying. Flying away from anything bad...sleeping on a big fluffy cloud of happy. The height also make me feel small again. It brings be back to a time when the things that worry me now didn't matter so much. Since I got home and put the frame together I haven't really wanted to even leave my room, let alone the bed. This could be a dangerous thing. I have been known to stay in bed and mope. Although, staying in this warm cloud like bed reading "junk food" books all day sounds amazing.
My granny also slept in this bed alone. She was married to my papa unhappily. This bed seemed so huge when I was little. It seemed as though so many people could fit. I sure fit when I would come to wake her up in the mornings and jump on the bed. Maybe I will sleep in this bed forever alone? Give up trying like she did. Maybe there is no need for anyone else's warm hug than my Granny's bed? It is so much easier to fall in love with a bed that doesn't hurt you because it is so soft and pillowy. It's even, typically, in the same place you leave it every day. You can safely assume that beds are pretty reliable for that fact.
 My bed feels so small compared to his. Perfect for one person, and maybe my cuddly cat. This is going to be an adjustment. I am hoping, whatever the outcome, everything will be fine. Regardless I am going to continue writing to feel better. I am going to continue floating in my granny's bed.

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