Degrees of Light

"You don't need the Temple to have a happy marriage", was advice we received early in our engagement from a bishop. I remember sitting there, mind blown wondering, "why a bishop would seemingly discourage temple marriage." Now I get it. Of course in retrospect, on the very day my divorce is final, it all is perfectly clear.

As a convert I wavered with this temple thing. What was so great about it?! Why does getting married, or being "sealed", make any difference. At some point I thought, "Maybe being sealed does make marriages easier". At least thats what I was taught the past four years. If you get married in the "right place" at the "right time" You'll have a spiritual leg up on the marriage game.

My bubble was soon burst, as I realized that the Bishop was right. Just because one, or even both, parties may be attending church or going to the temple does not guarantee happiness. You don't need the church, or the temple, or a sealing to be happy. What helps is the Gospel and a close relationship with God.

People let you down, things don't turn out like you expected, life isn't static. It's when I was following the guidance of my Heavenly Father that I felt peace and happiness amidst such darkness. I still have so much to figure out. I'm not perfect, or a genius, nor do I have even some of the answers; but welcome to my journey anyhow.


*Freeze Update*
I inventoried my finances; both the output and income
I narrowed down my bills and expenses
Lastly, I'm working on establishing a weekly/monthly budget

Freeze!

As a recent graduate, times are getting tight. Those loans are starting to come in and graduate school is on the horizon. Sometimes I need a"come to Jesus" talk to set me straight. So for 30 days I plan on only spending money on the necessities. My generation has a terrible habit of spending outside their means, and I am no exception to that. My ultimate goal is stability and not living paycheck to paycheck. Most people my age, especially college grads, could hardly dream of having a savings. Therefore, my greatest hope is to be able to save...for my dream vacay to Croatia! Ok, not really for traveling, for emergencies. Thats more adult, right?

First things first, I need to set short term goals and guidelines. Small victories led us to success:

• Goal 1: Inventory my income and expenses
• Narrow my financial categories: Bills, food, gas, etc...
• Set a weekly and monthly budget

Stay tuned and wish me luck!

Don't Stop Posting

I'm not dead.

Its surprising that I'm not. I should be half way to the spirit world after the year I've had, #rollercoaster. That being said, I received a comment saying "don't stop posting", just as I was contemplating restarting my blog. That comment was an answer to lots of prayers. After much contemplations (and playing with Canva.com to make my blog fresh and new), I decided to hop back on the blogging wagon.

Welcome to Home Sweet Home: the relaunch.

I thought it would be helpful to introduce myself. My name is Caitlin. I live in Northern California. I LOVE American history and recently graduated college with my BA. Nordstrom and the mountains are my happy place.

How 19 year olds Changed My Life Forever

I haven't blogged in awhile. I just assume give up blogging in general. Part of it is because I have so much anxiety around sharing my thoughts and feelings about my involvement in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. But I was inspired today to share. It literally landed on my door step.

I miss my elders. When I got baptized I didn't really think it was this huge deal. It wasn't this great turning point at the time. At least I didn't realize that it was until I was preparing to enter the temple and one of my elders was in town visiting. We were sitting in church and I just emotionally couldn't hold it together. My heart was so full of so many emotions; joy, relief, fear, anxiety, sadness. You must know though I HATE crying in public. So I was trying really hard to hold it together. I turned to see Elder Blair and just hugged him. I swear I sank into his shoulder and cried. It felt so warm and loving. I feel like I was hugging an angel. It clicked that if it were not for that baptism I wouldn't be receiving the comfort and strength I needed at that moment.

I sit here tonight missing them like family. Like brothers. I hope to always be friends and be in each others lives. I hope that everyone in the world, no matter what their circumstances are, can experience the love, comfort, and joy that the gospel delivers. If you read this boys, I love you to the depths of my soul and always will. See? Missionaries aren't so bad. Give em a wave next time you see them and find out.

Water Family

A little history to help explain this post:

I come from a stereotypical divorced and dysfunctional family. My parents divorced when I was 2 and its been ugly ever since. I got bounced around houses only to be mainly raised by either set of grandparents (not complaining I love/loved them). My Dad, even though I unconditionally love him, has not been around most my life.

Some of you may relate to this...

I have had many fathers, sisters, mothers, grandmothers, grandfathers. In that sense I have been blessed. None of those people were of blood relation. You see when you don't have examples of how to go to school, get a job, or make good choices you tend to look for them outside of your immediate family unit. I have sisters that are incredibly intelligent and beautiful. I learned how to put on make up, do my hair, and all those other girly things from my "sisters". I know its possible to be a real ballerina and a sassy happy housewife from my "sister". You can never learn enough or have enough books or lemons in your water. I learned how to push myself physically by going on bike rides and how to "put my man pants on" after running over a snake with said bike from my "big brother".

The best part of all this was when I recently went with my Dad and step mom to a motocross awards ceremony. I watched my dad mingle with all these hilarious old guys. I asked him how long he had known this one guy in particular. When he responded "35 years" I realized, I was sitting in the midst of his water family. I felt like it brought us closer. We both had rough childhoods so we both found our family.

My aunt told me that when our family isn't there for us or supportive we find our water family. I found mine. I love mine. I always will. I only hope I can be a sister/daughter/granddaughter in return.

It's Mid January and I'm Goin There!

This cotton candy reminds me of a certain blogger friend found via

Valentines day! Thats right. For you coupled folks I'm sure you can't wait. For us single ladies, at least for this one, I kind of dread it. One of my boyfriends of old didn't realize how insane this fake Hallmark holiday really was and tried to make dinner reservations the week of! Poor guy is scarred for life.


As I window shop around my slice of the world I am seeing more and more bikinis and valentines day shwag. My thoughts turn to love for the single girls. Instead of letting some panic creep in that I need to get a date for the day of I decided I just need to surround myself with love and attention for myself and my favorites.

Goals leading up to Valentines day

• Craft a heartfelt garland
• bake something yummy for my favorite people
• Have some beauty time to myself
• Add some flair to my space

What are you feelings on the big V day?

Makes Me Happy: Snow

Necklace: Urban Outfitters

Boots/socks: Hunter Jeans: Old Navy Sweater: Gap  Chambray shirt: Target

It is said that I enjoy snow and toy with living in it because I've never shoveled it. That may be true. But it doesn't make me love the snow any less. My friend and I took a short jaunt to the snow last Saturday. At the first sight I was itching to get out of the car and play!

Snow is magical.

Merry Christmas and PJs

I will admit it folks, I struggled with the Christmas spirit this season. A lot of it had to do with being stuck in broke student status and not being able to get people gifts like I wanted. The other half is that I really felt uncomfortable, pretty much since black friday, about how consumer driven holidays have become. This fantastic beautiful intelligent chick Alycia at the Crowley Project nailed the Christmas sentiment on the head! The days leading up to the 25th were spent reading scriptures and watching documentaries on the Christmas story.

My family is in the bay area so my mom and I made the seasonal trek west. My mom has also never seen the Oakland LDS temple lights so I made sure we had time to check it out. It being Christmas eve the grounds were bustling. The Oakland temple is especially beautiful at this time of year and is packed with people from all walks of life to marvel. Some of those folks happened to be my best friend Kristen and her family. Small small world it is.

When we got to my Babas I got to open presents! We didn't want to truck a bunch of stuff to my aunts where we have dinner. Somehow I acquired a collection of awesome pj sets which is exactly what I wanted!

Mikey ceremoniously cutting the prime rib

My aunts Gullivars Corn. The best in the land!!

My aunt and uncles Hawaii themed tree. So cute!

Christmas was really great. I got to spend quality time with family and particularly my cousin Mikey and eat some great food! There are some things I'd do different next year. All in all I'm glad its over and we can get on with normal life. I'm just going to try and ignore that valentines day stuff is going up in stores. Sheesh!

An Outfit Post (the first of many)

Has anyone else noticed this return to grunge? Maybe some of you aren't horrified by it. I am not one of those people. I cringe when I open Urban Outfitters catalogue lately. Maybe because back in the 90s I was old enough to remember how awful the fashion was (even worse than the 80s in my opinion).

This past Sunday I decided to embrace it....a little.

Deets:

Dress: Deseret Industries thrift store $4!!; Tights: Urban Outfitters Gift; Shoes Francesca's 

Collar was a big seller for me. I've been obsessed with collars

Gotta have a hipster beanie!

Hopefully in the future these posts will be better quality. Taking pictures with the camera on self timer hanging from the TV hutch was a feat in itself!

The Best Day of My Life

Love this chick. 

Its no secret I'm a mormon. If you didn't know now you know...ya know (get it?). If you are interested in my conversion story I'd be happy to share just comment and I can email you. On December 17th 2011 I was baptized. So this last week was my one year mark as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS). To celebrate I made a trip through the temple. I tell you what, when I first joined I didn't understand for the life of me why these people were so into temples. I mean people would make a trip to walk around OUTSIDE! Whuuuuut?! Oh boy do I get it now! Every step of my journey has brought me closer to a heavenly father who I am sure knows me personally. This step was one of them.

Something that helped me understand that better was the people that were around me on my special day. Let me tell you folks (get ready for some bragging) I have the best girlfriends! These girls are the closest thing to sisters I have ever have. Kristen and Tiffany have listened to me complain about boys, clothes, dealt with my stubbornness, and STILL answer my phone calls. Thats true love right there. Their faith and examples have been the biggest inspiration to me ever. Not to mention I have been spoiled with the best bishop, his wife, and presidency in all the land.

 I have trouble letting people in. The things I've experienced over my life have taught me its safer to keep people at a distance. Recently I have been struggling with that. This church and God have brought me to some of the most loving, caring, patient people I have ever met. I've learned that I am not a burden on people because we share in each others burdens and joys. I've learned that those silly kids on bikes with name tags and change your life (not to mention are someones son so don't be so hard on them pleeeeease). It is so worth opening your mind and heart to people.

(#)Caught Being Crafty

I made it through my first semester at big kid college. Not only did I make it through I pulled a 3.7 GPA for the semester! Go me! Now that the semester is done I have a bunch of time to do whatever I want...right? Yeah, well that. For the past two weeks I've been juggling two jobs. Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining at all! I needed a change of pace big time. That being said I no longer tutor children diagnosed on the autism spectrum disorder. Today was my last day! So now I really do have some free time. Here is a taste of more to come.

I decided to do at least two Pinterest DIY projects a week until school starts. Here are the two I chose for last week.

Their Version

My Version:

I only had larger sized doilies so I only needed two. I love how it came out. Plus, it only took me 5 minutes to put together and everything I had laying around the house. Which is how I prioritize my crafts. If I can make it with things I have on hand it happens first.

Next was this quick craft:

Via

Here is my version:

 I loved this! For the past three years I've been getting a real christmas tree. So this craft was as simple as snipping some sprigs off my tree and filling up some jars I had on hand up with water. Top it all off with a tea light and voila! The only thing is the water gets kinda gross after awhile. Needless to say the longevity of this lovely X-mas deco is not long.


I'm excited to pick the next two crafts. I'm thinking glitter and peter pan collars. Most definitely busting out the sewing machine this break. I will teach myself to sew if its the last thing I do!

Why I swore off weddings

Its starting to become a "thing". You know, one of those internet cliches? Every girl, married, single, and obviously engaged has a wedding board on Pinterest. I can't even tell you how many wedding blogs I follow. I could do some investigating and spew the numbers at you. How many pins are in my wedding board (:: cough::192) or how many blogs I follow (countless). But I wont bore you (or out myself).

Via

Part of the reason is because in a perfect world I would DIE to be a wedding planner. A MFT friend of mine had me take some personality test for fun once. After asking a bunch of questions about what I'm good at and what I like she said something to the effect of, "so basically you should do something where you are surrounded by pretty things and dresses." Yup. That is what I dream of.

Via

However, as a single girl with no prospects I kind of started to turn bitter. After I would go on these wedding "Pinges" (my own terminology for a Pinterest- binge) I'd just feel bad. I'd think why can't this be me? Dare I say I angry pinned?! HEAVENS! I made the conscious decision to halt my wedding pins and obsessions. Just because I'm single doesn't mean I should obsess or even aspire to have these insane weddings. I want to spend this time enjoying every moment I can get with myself.

Via (the amazing! Sloan Photographers)

Needless to say my fashion and fitness boards are really getting the love now. How do you guys feel about your pinning? Have you noticed any wedding pressure or push here on the webz?

Moving

No, not the blog. Just me. I've been trying really hard to keep it together and make everyone happy at the same time. You probably assumed right...I've been failing miserably and loosing my mind in the process. Hence the lull in posts. I am exited to share some amazing photos I took while I was visiting my family in Oregon. I had such a fantastic time watching some serious cooking masters in their prime element.

I hope you all had a lovely time with your family and aren't popped from all the yummy food. My favorite was the completely made from scratch pumpkin pie! Wow was it good. I leave you with my 3 month food baby. She's due next fall....

Hawt!

Just Call Me Dr. Giggles

I'm pretty sure I'm recycling this pic from another post...

I am discovering something about myself. I kind of knew this was something that made me feel good when I was younger. I LOVE making people laugh. We talk about talents and things of that nature a lot in church and I think its a talent of mine. Really, I'm not trying to toot my own horn. Its been a long journey of ups and downs to truly realize and admit to you all here that its something I think I'm good at.

When I was younger I just assumed people weren't getting what I was saying. Or, the obvious assumption, that people were laughing at me! Oh heavens, I'm sure that was the case several times. Looking back on it though I could care less if they were laughing at me or with me. It just makes me feel great to hear someone laugh. Lets face it. You don't laugh if your unhappy or sad, right?!

On two occasions this month friends have thanked me for making them laugh and smile and that they were feeling down or didn't want to even go to school previous to that. HOLY COW! It made me feel fantastic. I don't do anything special to make people laugh. Half the time I am not trying to cheer anyone up at all. As I am writing this I realize even more its when I am simply myself that I seem to make the biggest effect on others.

This isn't a kick off to my stand up career. I doubt I could get in front of a crowd of people and hack it. I'll stick to where it matters most. To those people who need it the most and whom I care for and love so much.

Do you guys feel you have any special talents or traits? Ever have a time someone accidentally cheered you up with a little laughter? I'd love to hear from you!

I'm Alive....Barely

I made it through Midterms. I think that was midterms? Tonight is the first night I've spent not writing a paper in two weeks. I know I will look back on my measly two weeks someday and  sass about writing for two months or something.

I refuse to let this put a damper on my blogging upswing! Stay tuned.

Russian Apple Cake

Look at me blogging! I love it! Breaking news California! Its officially fall here. Why? Because Caitlin started baking from scratch again thats why! I made two separate treats that I must share with you all.

Pumpkin Pie Chocolate Chip cookies (of course found via Pinterest Via Taste of Home):

Ingredients

• 1 cup butter, softened
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup quick-cooking oats
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 cup canned pumpkin
• 1-1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

Directions

• In a bowl, cream butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Beat in egg and vanilla. Combine the flour, oats, baking soda and cinnamon; stir into creamed mixture alternately with pumpkin. Fold in chocolate chips.
• Drop by tablespoonfuls onto greased baking sheets. Bake at 350° for 12-13 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove to wire racks to cool. Yield: 4 dozen.

These cookies were a BIG hit at church this Sunday. I was shocked because I felt they were a little too cakey and may make a better bread. Which is the same recipe just stick the batter in a loaf pan and boom! 

Then I baked this amazing Russian Apple cake. I LOVED it!! So fluffy and moist. I didn't use granny smith apples I used some I already had on hand. I also opted out on the walnuts and only cooked for about 30 mins. All ovens are not made alike though. Recipe found at Kitchen Grrrls:

Loved the polka dots!

Russian Apple Pie

For 8 inch round baking pan, you will need:
1 cup of sugar,
1 cup of all purpose flour,
3 large eggs,
1 teaspoon of baking powder,
1 tablespoon of vanilla,
3 large granny smith apples,
1 cup of walnut pieces (I did not include)

Put in a big bowl eggs, sugar, and vanilla. Mix with hand mixer until the mixture becomes foamy and pale yellow. Sugar should be almost dissolved.

Add the flour and baking powder. Mix it again until the batter is smooth.

Wash the apples, cut them into big chunks removing apple hearts. I cut the apple into teeny pieces, just because I prefer smaller bits of apple throughout.Place the apple chunks in the batter, add walnuts pieces (optional), and mix the mixture with spoon or silicon spatula until all apples are covered with the batter.

Grease baking pan and sprinkle with flour. Bake it in the oven at 375 degrees Fahrenheit for 40 minutes.

Way to go Pinterest on not failing my fall cravings. I hope you have a good time baking and eating these delicious treats as much as I did!

Mee Time

Last weekend my mom and I were supposed to go to Apple Hill together. Unfortunately I came down with the plague and our trip was postponed.  I woke up Saturday morning and was excited to go and finally collect on some apple goodies. My mom however was not as excited as I. So my trip turned into some me time. I even love the drive up there! Here are some Apple Hill tips I thought of as I explored around.

Last year with Stevie

1. Don't go to High Hill Ranch. Its one of the bigger and more popular orchards. It has a fish filled pond, apples (of course), and apple baked goods. There is nothing there you can't get at a smaller LESS PACKED vender. My tip? Go to Ables Acres. They have the best apple butter, bomb fudge, carmel covered apples, and you can get the famous apple cider doughnuts there while you have your picture taken with the fuzzy bears out front.

2. If you have kids there are a few seemingly fun places to check out. Like Kids INC. Sorry, I don't have kids so I haven't put too much foot work into this tip.

I love the apple on top of Denver Dan's

Apple dumpling and hot apple cider. Yum!

3. I love Denver Dan's. There is a guy that uses this apple peeler/corer/cutter thing. When he is done he plops the apple on your thumb for you to eat. This guy has been around a long time too. They have fantastic frozen pies (my favorite is the sour cream apple pie) and yummy apple dumplings. Don't forget the giant pickles (I did today. I was rushing).

Then I took a drive in search for a special place. I think I drove for over an hour in and around windy mountain roads. Sadly, or not, due to snow and ice I was unable to get to my spot. So I will continue dreaming about sitting on a ski lift swinging munching on apple cider doughnuts, drinking hot apple and admiring the snow capped mountains. "Mee" time is really important. I've gotten away from doing things on my own away from everyone. The drive up there listening to music, singing, and thinking was the most calm I have felt in a really long time. I highly recommend it!

Give your Heart a Break

Its so hard to think of what to blog about concerning break ups. Most the blogs I follow and see around the Internet are ladies who are married and usually have children. I actually couldn't tell you a single blogger (except for my home girl Kristen) off the top of my head. So when thinking of how to approach this topic, something I'm going through, I get stumped.

This blog is a personal lifestyle blog if I had to fit her into a box. Therefore this blog is going to have content personal to me. I'm ok with sharing most of it. There are a few things that are pretty personal though. Some topics that kind of scare me to blog about because I don't know what other people are going to think of me. Whatever you blog about effects people and the reaction from that is completely on the blogger if you ask me. Don't get me wrong. I want to blog about EVERYTHING! I like being real. So alright, here goes.

Via

Break ups are embarrassing. Especially for me. When I commit to a boyfriend I am typically going to put all my effort into that relationship. Its really how I do things in general. So when they fail I am typically devastated and blame myself a lot. Lately, what prompted this post, and as time draws farther from incident it starts to weigh heavy and I remember all the things that were perfect. That made me feel like I had finally made it home safe and sound. I start thinking of all the things I would have done differently. Answer with a soft voice. Be more forgiving.

Break ups are so good for me in a way because they help me to know what I should be working on. I just wish there was a better way to figure that out.

Facelift: In Progress

I gave my blog a face lift. I needed a change. Lace and Pearls was sorta me but I missed my old blog title which is much more me. I'm in the process of making it even more spiffy. Hence the "in progress" bit. I hope you all enjoy the change as much as I do. I've been feeling really inspired to blog more so I figured I'd invest more time on my little corner of the interwebz.

Its not officially Halloween anymore but happy Halloween none the less! I've enjoyed seeing all the awesome costumes on my Instagram.


Happy Halloween!

I Can Blog.

I swear I can. One shouldn't swear though. I've been up to a lot. I'm a big fancy college gal you know? I just survived my first midterm at big kid college (which isn't saying much since it was only for two classes). Last weekend I went on an eating spree with one of my best lady friends. I was calling it "Breakfast with Tiffany" get it? I'm sure she is annoyed at this phrase by now. I then went to my very first bridal shower. I unexpectedly had a blast! I had the best cupcakes, some magical whipped fruit dip, and brushed off my toilet paper dress designing skills. By the end of that party I was signed up to design two wedding dresses and plan three weddings (but not really...). This weekend I'm going to Apple Hill with my Mama. We've lived in the Sacramento area for 10+ years and she has never been!!!!!! 

Also.... GO GIANTS!!!!